Things just got real!

What a year this month has been!

October has been an absolute whirlwind of a month.

I've started my countdown for the release of my debut novel, Wings - Book One: The Revelation's Prophecy and it has literally been all systems go! I have ordered my books, merchandise and a cake. The cake is for the launch party, not just for me to eat...by myself...randomly.

The delivery of my books was one of those surreal moments of my life, I don't think I will ever forget it. The DHL delivery driver was cookahoop when I told him the boxes contained books...my books!!

Thank you nice delivery man. It made my day!

To top it off, I found my book on Amazon, Barnes and Noble...then...Waterstones!

OMG!!!!!! That was a huge pinch me moment. Then I found myself on Foyles and I thought, this is it. Here we go!

When my books arrived, my dreams came true.

Imposter Syndrome Inevitability.

I was ready to take on the world and then, the inevitable happened.

Intrusive thoughts started speaking to me. 'What if your book is absolute dog shite?' It blew up. I wanted to quit before I had even begun. I was ten seconds away from pulling the whole thing. Especially after seeing so many authors bossing it on the socials and my brain just said, 'You are no where near in the same league as these amazing writers.'

Put on those big girl pants.

I did a lot of doom scrolling.

I did a lot of staring out of the window and wallowing in self pity. Then, I spoke about my fears to my other half and friends and in true Yorkshire style, they told me to shut it, put on my big girl pants and get on with it.

The biggest thing I had to accept was, 'Some people are going to love the book and some people are going to hate it. You have to be okay with that, otherwise your dream of being a writer will soon go out of the window.'

That gave me a kick up the backside.

The message I stick to when I give my reviews is, 'This is my opinion, read it and see for yourself.' Books and stories are subjective and it starts the conversation, 'What did you think?' That's the thing I love about reading.

This is real.

Am I going to be the next Harper Lee, Sylvia Plath, Donna Tart? No.

I mean, it would be amazing to win the Pulitzer or Booker prize and maybe...one day, who knows. Right now, I'm just starting this amazing, wonderful and terrifying journey of becoming a writer and that's okay.

If you ever wondered whether you should start getting something down on paper, laptop, desktop, whatever, and those voices started talking to you, saying you weren't good enough, tell them to shut it, put on your big girl or boy pants and do it! It's never too late to start.

Lots of love and leave a comment if tha' wants.